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| She sat on the shower floor. It had been a while since she 'tried' it, but the first time she actually enjoyed herself.
Thunder thundered outside.
She was cold, but exhilarated after running through the rain. The warm shower water cascaded onto her, trails of water running down her body, a downhill sprint to the drain. The mingling of storm and warmth flooded through her, starting from the outside and soaking through every pore of her body. She closed her eyes. The warmth seeped its way through to her heart and a fuzzy feeling formed.
The pitter patter rain poured on.
The pitter patter shower head poured on.
On her head. The comfortable weight flowed down her hair reflecting the light, a thousand rainbows of white on every strand. Blue sounds from behind the window mixed with brown sounds inside the glass echoing in her ears a resonating music of some which is natural. The sound engulfed her and took the fuzzy from her heart and pulled it out in a slow smooth motion. The sound took the fuzzy and made it shimmer in a bubble around her. A bubble of solitary solace, of opaque translucency that became more surreal and paradoxical with the rain.
Then she turned the tap off
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| So why is it that human beings, not all, but just about everyone is so subjective to change.
It just makes life more difficult.
And why do people have to fall for other people so easily? Why do we have some sort of instinct to be with another person?
Why are there so many questions in the world?! .____."
I thought I knew what I want and what I was looking for. And I knew it would change, but now that it has I've realised I don't really know what I want anymore, I see how little I'd actually prepared myself for the change.
I'm going to donate blood I think, becuase I'm elidgble apparently and I guess I feel as if it would make my life more intresting. I want to change so much of my routine becuase it's just dull but I don't have the time, and there's all the pressure to do well while I'm still at school, which just makes me feel scared to do anything else.
I think I've just re-lost myself, or split into a billion different Koo's. My personality is like a chamelon, and I think I'm losing myself in it. I no longer have a stable friendship group becuase I'm too bored to hang out with just one group. And with different groups my personality shifts entirely and I don't know when I'm really actually myself. I feel like I'm holding back all the time. It doesn't mean I have to get along well with the people I'm around. Just enough so that I can sit comfortably. Kinda like a mix of multiple personality and bi-polar. And it's not as if I'm not NOT being me. It's just I'm not being as me as I would like. But then it's me to like being comfortable, and if that's the price then I'm still being me. My values don't really change, just the way it's expressed.
Sorry for such a selfish post... I feel like everything is so selfish about me now :\ ..and materialistic
and shallow...
I need to do more things for other people I think.. I guess I need more motiviation
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| So on the 26.06.2009, I attended Balwyn High Formal with Jonathan. 
So at some gorgeous place in the Docklands, we sat at table no. 34
and they had these cute name placements for everyone ^.^
I was on a table with international students :)
from left to right..Zehui, Godfrey, Chenyu, Dennis, Alex, Me and Jono
[there were 2 more but they dissapeared a lot so no photos :( ]
These guys cracked me up they were hilarious
So I began the night awkwardly, trying to fit in while Jono knew this amazing tonne of people and introduced me to a million different names and faces I could not remember! There was a bit of dancing at the start and I stood awkwardly on the side and talked to some guy who I found out was 30yrs old... O.o"
Then, it was main course.
There was this scrumptous looking chicken and potato, which also tasted especially yummy. There was some awards and stuff, and I just clapped along with everyone else. I chatted with Wenchen and Dennis and they made me laugh a fair bit ^▼^
This was followed by more dancing, which included me standing awkwardly pretending to fit in. After a while I began to warm up and some really nice McRob girl who was an amazing dancer gave me a bit of confidence by dancing with me :D There was good music and I now had some people to dance with..♫
So after a while I started to loosen up and then it was dessert ..*sigh
but dessert was sooooo good so it was ok (:
After that I danced the rest of the night away..
~♥
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| WELL ...I stumbled on this thing where...
"you answer these 12 questions, type the answers into Google images search,
pick a picture on the first page as your answer a make a collage out of them using...
>http://bighugelabs.com/mosaic.php< "
QUESTIONS.
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite mo vie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Yeah and this is how mine turned out :)
twas fun ^.^~ kinda...coz I accidentally resent the page a few times and I had to find all the images again D:<
try it :D
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| why do we try to claim ownership over people..
they're probably the hardest..
some people want to take ownership over each other
some people are scared of having an owner
but esentially..do we really belong to people?
you can say no..but we all try to take bits of people and own them
we're not really ever belonging to our own slef?
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